Great Expectations

     For the past few weeks we have been in the midst of a kitchen addition.  Our modest living room has been transformed into a living room, dining room, homework room, kitchen, play room and of course, my favorite...a mud room.  Needless to say, even I am ready for a kitchen again and I'm actually looking forward to cooking in it.  This past week the cabinets arrived and were installed and the empty room is starting to look like a real kitchen.  Being spatially challenged, I hired a designer to help out with the kitchen layout to help ensure that we were using the additional space wisely.  She drew out several options for us to look over and we were very excited about the layout we selected. 

Once the cabinets were in I started to closely examine my new kitchen now that I could truly "feel" how the layout was going to be and I have to say that I was a bit taken aback at how small the kitchen was.  Here is the funny thing.  I KNEW the size of the addition.  I KNEW it wasn't a huge addition because we had limited space to add on (not to mention a limited budget).  I looked at the layout and approved of the layout and yet here I was getting frustrated that I was getting what I asked for. 

I have to admit that I spent the night and the next morning pretty frustrated at what I "could have had".  In retrospect, we could have changed some things around to have a little more room, but in all honesty, it is going to be a beautiful little kitchen that will be significantly better that what we had before and we DO have a lot more space where we need it the most. 

I got thinking about those funny things we call expectations.  In marriage we hear quite a bit about "unmet expectations", and I decided that I really don't like that term at all.   Having an expectation unmet somehow sounds like the burden is on someone else to fullfill some need that I drum up in my head.  I decided that a better term is "un-managed expectations".  We all have expectations of our relationships whether they are in marriage, our friendships or even our work relationships.  It's our responsibility to express those expectations, and it is most definitely our responsibility to manage our expectations and ensure that they are realistic. 

I wonder how many marriages have dissolved because of "un-managed expectations"?  How many marriages have ended because someone got exactly what they signed up for?  Isn't it funny that we ask for something and we get it, and somehow we still find ourselves wanting more?   

I'm looking at my new adorable little kitchen and I have to say that I have deliberately "managed" my expectations and I love it.  Now that I'm done whining over what it isn't I can enjoy all the things it is.  I live in a small house and it's not a gourmet kitchen and I can't expect it to be something that it can't be.  The same goes for people.  What if we just love them where they are for what they are and for who they are?  This is an expectation that truly has the potential to be great.