My words on here have been few. Blog posts have been sporadic to say the least. Writing is in my soul, so eventually words will make it to a post. There are some things that are incredibly heavy on me today and I know that I am meant to write. So, write I will.
I can't get the word "broken" out of my mind this morning. It is a big word, especially if it is used to describe a heart or a relationship. When someone has a significant place in your heart and your life and is suddenly taken away it leaves an emptiness. We are aching and broken. It is by far one of the most painful things that we can feel in this life. When someone who has a significant place in your heart and your life chooses to walk away it leaves a heart feeling empty, aching, broken....and confused. It is a horrible and almost indescribable pain. Wisdom tells us that we need to work through the pain and let time heal the wounds that have been inflicted, but we don't want to put ourselves through that. That's not fun in anyone's world. Isn't it crazy what we will do to keep ourselves from feeling what we need to feel in order to make ourselves better and stronger?
I will be honest. I am in a broken place. I feel broken. My heart is broken. I know in my heart that I need to feel all that comes at me and work through it, sift through it and slowly begin to rebuild little by little. I don't think I'm the first person to feel broken that is not looking forward to rebuilding. I'm hurting, and rebuilding takes effort and energy and so much time. There has to be a better way, doesn't there? My heart knows that there is not a better way. There ARE other ways to deal with a broken heart, but the way to truly heal a broken heart is to slowly rebuild a better and stronger heart.
Let's pretend that there was only one little pig instead of three. The little pig builds a beautiful house of straw. It's a pretty and functional house, but this pretty little house will not withstand the wind, so it is faulty and not practical. It does not stand the test of time and it falls. It is broken. What does the little pig do? Does he go to Home Depot for another load of straw? Of course not. He Googles a better material of course!!! Wood!!! Wood it is!!! Little pig builds a new house made of wood and it is good. It is a pretty and functional house that is much stronger than straw. Little pig is pleased and is enjoying a nice glass of wine in his new wood home.....until the winds come again. The house made of wood does not stand the test of time and it also falls. It is broken. What does the little pig do? Does he go back to Home Depot for another load of wood? Of course not. He researches further and finds a stronger material. Bricks. The problem with bricks is that it will take a long time to build a house made of bricks. There are no shortcuts. The house will be strong, but it will take time and effort and patience. The little pig begins building. One strong, solid brick at a time. Carefully he places one brick on top of the other. One layer, then the next, then the next. It is not fast, but it is strong. When the winds come it will stand. Little pig will be safe and protected and secure in his home because he took the time build something better and stronger. Little pig never would have known about bricks if he didn't know a little something about being broken.
Our hearts are the same. A broken heart needs to be strategically rebuilt with the same care and with the right materials that are better and stronger. Our hearts need to be rebuilt one little piece at a time, one layer at a time. The process can't be rushed, or it will be compromised. Just like the little pig, I need to seek out stronger materials to rebuild my heart. I am feeling broken, but I don't want to waste my brokenness by rebuilding myself the same way I was before. I want my heart to be better. I want my heart to be stronger. The only way I am going to be successful in building something better is to learn what my brokenness has for me. I have no choice but to embrace my brokenness. I have to take it in, feel it, know it, learn from it, and then let it go. There is no point in holding on to something that is broken even it it was once something very precious. Letting go doesn't mean that I will forget what my heart was, or what was in my heart. It does mean that I have to lay it down and build something better and stronger.
So much to learn from one little pig.
About Me
- Who I am: Janiece
- I'm a wife and mom of a 19 year old stepson and 2 little girls ages 5 and almost 7. I was a self-employed real estate appraiser for 12 years and am ready to turn the page and Lord willing go back to school and see what God has next for me. Certainly my highest priority is to attempt to keep the house in order for my dear husband and to savor all the moments I can with my little ones that are growing entirely too fast.
Tuesday, February 14, 2017
Wednesday, August 31, 2016
Mothering Moments
So....the last time I posted a blog was 11/3/2014. How is that possible??? How is it that all the craziness flying through my mind didn't make it to a page? I don't have the answer to that. I do know that at 5:38 this morning I had some thoughts flying through my mind and I felt God prompting me to write. Here goes my rusty attempt at writing.
I love my two little girls. At 7 and 9 they certainly aren't as little as they once were...but they are still littles to me. Since school is back in session, our day begins at 7:00 in the morning and is quite full as any mother of any number of children knows. I take them to school, go back home and frantically try to obtain some semblance of order in my house. I run errands, take care of the dogs, do dishes, laundry, try to find the surface of the floor under the protective coating of dirt from puppy feet, pay bills, pick up "stuff", etc. etc. I glance at the clock and it's almost time to pick up the girls and ready myself for the craziness that is "after school life" which consists of gymnastics, dance and the dreaded HOMEWORK. Somewhere in all of that plops dinner, baths and eventually bedtime. It is a full day.
I would love to report that I have a smile on my face, spring in my step, and a chipper attitude through all of these phases of the day, but the truth is that around 9:00 mommy begins to melt. My energy has been siphoned out of me and I am running on fumes. I'm ready to clock out and enjoy a few moments to myself before I nod off to sleep. Bedtime is interesting. Bedtime is when the girls have finally stopped for the day and their brains suddenly burst into a fury of activity. Haylee especially will have 100 philosophical questions that I often struggle to answer . After I have put the girls to bed I just stand in the hallway and wait for the first "MAMA!!!!!" (there are at least 10 or 12 of those before sleep arrives)
Last night I took my sweet time putting Haylee to bed. We chatted a little, I answered a few questions, we prayed together, I hugged and kissed her and left her room confident that there was nothing left to "MAMA" about. I then prayed with Kerrington and got her all tucked in, kissed and happy. WHEW!!!! It was finally time for me to go upstairs. I grabbed my phone and my big cup of water and was ready to head to bed. I took two steps and heard Haylee call "MAMA". The fleshy part of me was instantly a bit annoyed and I almost let out an agitated "WHAT????". At that moment I heard God whisper to me, "Mother for just another moment". I did. I instead responded to her with a sweet "Yes Honey". I peeked in her room and she said, "Mama, could I just have one more hug?" I went over and wrapped my arms around her and she whispered to me "I love you Mama. You are the best Mama in the whole world." I walked out of her room with the biggest smile on my face and a love tank that was overflowing.
I put in a full day yesterday. I mothered all day long and I was tired. God knew what that hug would mean to Haylee, and he knew what it would mean to me. I'm so thankful for God's gentle prompt to mother for another moment.
I love my two little girls. At 7 and 9 they certainly aren't as little as they once were...but they are still littles to me. Since school is back in session, our day begins at 7:00 in the morning and is quite full as any mother of any number of children knows. I take them to school, go back home and frantically try to obtain some semblance of order in my house. I run errands, take care of the dogs, do dishes, laundry, try to find the surface of the floor under the protective coating of dirt from puppy feet, pay bills, pick up "stuff", etc. etc. I glance at the clock and it's almost time to pick up the girls and ready myself for the craziness that is "after school life" which consists of gymnastics, dance and the dreaded HOMEWORK. Somewhere in all of that plops dinner, baths and eventually bedtime. It is a full day.
I would love to report that I have a smile on my face, spring in my step, and a chipper attitude through all of these phases of the day, but the truth is that around 9:00 mommy begins to melt. My energy has been siphoned out of me and I am running on fumes. I'm ready to clock out and enjoy a few moments to myself before I nod off to sleep. Bedtime is interesting. Bedtime is when the girls have finally stopped for the day and their brains suddenly burst into a fury of activity. Haylee especially will have 100 philosophical questions that I often struggle to answer . After I have put the girls to bed I just stand in the hallway and wait for the first "MAMA!!!!!" (there are at least 10 or 12 of those before sleep arrives)
Last night I took my sweet time putting Haylee to bed. We chatted a little, I answered a few questions, we prayed together, I hugged and kissed her and left her room confident that there was nothing left to "MAMA" about. I then prayed with Kerrington and got her all tucked in, kissed and happy. WHEW!!!! It was finally time for me to go upstairs. I grabbed my phone and my big cup of water and was ready to head to bed. I took two steps and heard Haylee call "MAMA". The fleshy part of me was instantly a bit annoyed and I almost let out an agitated "WHAT????". At that moment I heard God whisper to me, "Mother for just another moment". I did. I instead responded to her with a sweet "Yes Honey". I peeked in her room and she said, "Mama, could I just have one more hug?" I went over and wrapped my arms around her and she whispered to me "I love you Mama. You are the best Mama in the whole world." I walked out of her room with the biggest smile on my face and a love tank that was overflowing.
I put in a full day yesterday. I mothered all day long and I was tired. God knew what that hug would mean to Haylee, and he knew what it would mean to me. I'm so thankful for God's gentle prompt to mother for another moment.
Monday, November 3, 2014
I Just Have To Go THERE.
Halloween. How many blogs have been written in the past week on this topic? Every year you see 100 different articles pop up on Facebook with every take imaginable on the "Holiday". (I struggle to call it that). I'll be honest...I read them. It interests me and I'm intrigued by the different perspectives and a little amused by the "die hards".
I remember trick or treating once or twice when I was little. My parents were Christians and though they let us go a few times, as they grew in their faith they decided it was not something they chose to celebrate. In addition...we lived in upstate NY and it's quite a challenge to put on a costume over a snow suit. No joke.
Fast forward a while. I can remember having an absolute BLAST dressing up as characters when I was in my 20's. Let me tell you...I make a FABULOUS cowardly lion...an adorable Robin Hood...but no one could beat my friend Michelle and I as Wayne and Garth from "Wayne's World". With my hair how could I not be great? It was just fun dressing up and there wasn't anything "dark" associated with any of our outings.
Fast forward a little more. Brian and I have 2 little girls and after lengthy discussions we decided a while back to forgo the trick or treating. I debated this year. School makes a huge deal over Halloween and lets face it....children LOVE to dress up...it just doesn't get much more fun than that. Add some candy in there and you have some pretty happy kids to say the least. My neighbor offered to take the girls with her and go to a very nice neighborhood that I was familiar with. I battled within myself. Halloween itself is certainly not a day I wish to celebrate... but I know full well that 95% of people just enjoy the costumes and candy, so what would it hurt to let my girls dress up and have fun collecting candy with other kids dressed up? Halloween day Haylee borrowed a costume from the neighbor and went to school as Cleopatra...she was beautiful and had so much fun going to school in her flowy dress and beaded headband. All day I thought about whether or not I should talk to Brian about allowing them to go trick or treating. Suddenly there was just a check in my spirit that clearly said "no". The debate was over.
I could write a few more paragraphs on why and why not, but I don't need to. I clearly felt God tell me no and that is all that mattered. I no longer cared what all the other Christians were doing or not doing. I no longer questioned if I was keeping my girls from a fun experience with friends. God told ME not to go. Next year maybe we will feel differently, who knows. What I do know is that when God prompts you to do or not do something it's best to listen and it doesn't make a hoot of a difference what instructions he gives or doesn't give anyone else.
Halloween night our family enjoyed a bonfire and we cooked hot dogs and roasted marshmallows for s'mores over the fire. The girls ran around the yard in the dark with their big brother and had an absolute blast. Both of the girls fell asleep in the arms of their parents wrapped in a blanket under the stars in the cool fall air. I don't think they missed the candy, but I do believe we made a memory.
I remember trick or treating once or twice when I was little. My parents were Christians and though they let us go a few times, as they grew in their faith they decided it was not something they chose to celebrate. In addition...we lived in upstate NY and it's quite a challenge to put on a costume over a snow suit. No joke.
Fast forward a while. I can remember having an absolute BLAST dressing up as characters when I was in my 20's. Let me tell you...I make a FABULOUS cowardly lion...an adorable Robin Hood...but no one could beat my friend Michelle and I as Wayne and Garth from "Wayne's World". With my hair how could I not be great? It was just fun dressing up and there wasn't anything "dark" associated with any of our outings.
Fast forward a little more. Brian and I have 2 little girls and after lengthy discussions we decided a while back to forgo the trick or treating. I debated this year. School makes a huge deal over Halloween and lets face it....children LOVE to dress up...it just doesn't get much more fun than that. Add some candy in there and you have some pretty happy kids to say the least. My neighbor offered to take the girls with her and go to a very nice neighborhood that I was familiar with. I battled within myself. Halloween itself is certainly not a day I wish to celebrate... but I know full well that 95% of people just enjoy the costumes and candy, so what would it hurt to let my girls dress up and have fun collecting candy with other kids dressed up? Halloween day Haylee borrowed a costume from the neighbor and went to school as Cleopatra...she was beautiful and had so much fun going to school in her flowy dress and beaded headband. All day I thought about whether or not I should talk to Brian about allowing them to go trick or treating. Suddenly there was just a check in my spirit that clearly said "no". The debate was over.
I could write a few more paragraphs on why and why not, but I don't need to. I clearly felt God tell me no and that is all that mattered. I no longer cared what all the other Christians were doing or not doing. I no longer questioned if I was keeping my girls from a fun experience with friends. God told ME not to go. Next year maybe we will feel differently, who knows. What I do know is that when God prompts you to do or not do something it's best to listen and it doesn't make a hoot of a difference what instructions he gives or doesn't give anyone else.
Halloween night our family enjoyed a bonfire and we cooked hot dogs and roasted marshmallows for s'mores over the fire. The girls ran around the yard in the dark with their big brother and had an absolute blast. Both of the girls fell asleep in the arms of their parents wrapped in a blanket under the stars in the cool fall air. I don't think they missed the candy, but I do believe we made a memory.
Thursday, October 16, 2014
Unwrapped Gifts
Next week is my birthday and I got a wonderful gift this morning. A wonderful, but unwrapped gift. Let me rewind just a little it to last night.
I picked up my little girlies from school like I do on most days. I needed a few groceries so I took them with me to Walmart where I was dangerously close to being "MAMA'D" to certain death. We could surely retire and live a life of leisure if I got a dime for every "MAMA!!!" that entered my eardrum. Anyway...from there it just turned into a whirlwind evening. Nothing overly dramatic, just the non-stop end of the day events like dinner, homework, baths and bedtime, etc, etc.
At around 9:30 the girls were clean and happily entering into dreamland so I returned to the kitchen to finish cleaning up and begin making lunches for the next day. Brian came in and asked me if I was almost done. I had to snicker as I said, "not even close." He sweetly asked if he could help. 273 things instantly popped into my head in regards to the preparations for the next day. As nice as it was for him to ask to help it is honestly just easier for me to do it because I have the necessary "inside information". (you moms know exactly what I mean by this) Here is why.
Brian is a wonderful dad as well as an attentive dad....but he just doesn't know what I know. Making lunches is not just throwing a sandwich and some chips in a bag. Nope. Haylee loves a pepperoni sandwich....Kerrington does not. You can ask Kerrington what she would like for lunch and she will tell you, but Haylee enjoys being surprised. Both girls like a bagel with cream cheese for lunch, but with Kerrington's loose tooth I cut the bagel up into little pieces so she doesn't have to bite into it and hurt her tooth. Both girls like yogurt, but Kerrington likes strawberry and Haylee likes key lime. Kerrington likes both kinds, but Haylee prefers the "whipped" kind. Both girls like carrots, but Haylee won't eat them without a little ranch dressing to dip them in....Kerrington doesn't like ranch dressing. Kerrington like chocolate milk in her lunch occasionally...but she still wants water in her lunch too. Haylee just wants water. If a pouch of something goes into the lunch it needs to be opened and then closed so that they can get it opened in the lunch room without struggling. Both girls get a snack for the afternoon, but Kerrington's needs to have her name written on it. Also, they like to have a different snack everyday....not the same snack 2 days in a row. Most importantly....both girls get a little love note from Mommy every day. (one day of forgetting the note quickly made me realize that these mean more to them than I ever imagined...I had 2 girls close to tears telling me they couldn't find their note in their lunchbox.) The note has to go in the little pocket in the front of their lunchbox otherwise the cold water will mess up the paper. A little sticker goes on the note....and they enjoy having that as a surprise too.
Have I created demanding little monsters? I don't think so. I've been packing their lunches since they were babies and I have learned along the way the things they like and the things they don't. If a little attention to detail makes them enjoy their lunch more why wouldn't I do it?
You might be thinking I have gone off on some crazy tangent (which I'm fully capable of), but I assure you I have not. The gift I got this morning was the gift of perspective and appreciation. When you are a stay at home mom the right perspective and appreciation for the tasks set before you can change your day....heck....it can change your year.
I'll be the first one to admit that I do not always appreciate being a stay at home mom. I have a bad habit of looking at all the things I DON'T accomplish in the course of a day and tend to look at myself as a failure. WHY oh WHY can't I keep up with the laundry??? I just did the dishes...how can the sink be full again???? This morning I realized that all the little things that I am able to accomplish in the day do matter. Cutting a bagel into little pieces to accommodate a loose tooth seems really small....but it's not a small thing to a 5 year old that opens her lunch and sees that mommy was looking out for her. I'm able say "I love you" to my little girls in 30 different ways without saying a word.
I don't know exactly what God has for me in the future....but today as I sit here typing I'm sitting up straight with my shoulders back and my head held high. Today I am enjoying a new perspective on what I do and I have a renewed appreciation for it. Today I'm exceedingly thankful for how intimately I know my little girls. I am extremely fortunate to spend the time with them that I do and knowing the little intricacies of their personalities is a gift that I will cherish.
Happy Birthday to me.
I picked up my little girlies from school like I do on most days. I needed a few groceries so I took them with me to Walmart where I was dangerously close to being "MAMA'D" to certain death. We could surely retire and live a life of leisure if I got a dime for every "MAMA!!!" that entered my eardrum. Anyway...from there it just turned into a whirlwind evening. Nothing overly dramatic, just the non-stop end of the day events like dinner, homework, baths and bedtime, etc, etc.
At around 9:30 the girls were clean and happily entering into dreamland so I returned to the kitchen to finish cleaning up and begin making lunches for the next day. Brian came in and asked me if I was almost done. I had to snicker as I said, "not even close." He sweetly asked if he could help. 273 things instantly popped into my head in regards to the preparations for the next day. As nice as it was for him to ask to help it is honestly just easier for me to do it because I have the necessary "inside information". (you moms know exactly what I mean by this) Here is why.
Brian is a wonderful dad as well as an attentive dad....but he just doesn't know what I know. Making lunches is not just throwing a sandwich and some chips in a bag. Nope. Haylee loves a pepperoni sandwich....Kerrington does not. You can ask Kerrington what she would like for lunch and she will tell you, but Haylee enjoys being surprised. Both girls like a bagel with cream cheese for lunch, but with Kerrington's loose tooth I cut the bagel up into little pieces so she doesn't have to bite into it and hurt her tooth. Both girls like yogurt, but Kerrington likes strawberry and Haylee likes key lime. Kerrington likes both kinds, but Haylee prefers the "whipped" kind. Both girls like carrots, but Haylee won't eat them without a little ranch dressing to dip them in....Kerrington doesn't like ranch dressing. Kerrington like chocolate milk in her lunch occasionally...but she still wants water in her lunch too. Haylee just wants water. If a pouch of something goes into the lunch it needs to be opened and then closed so that they can get it opened in the lunch room without struggling. Both girls get a snack for the afternoon, but Kerrington's needs to have her name written on it. Also, they like to have a different snack everyday....not the same snack 2 days in a row. Most importantly....both girls get a little love note from Mommy every day. (one day of forgetting the note quickly made me realize that these mean more to them than I ever imagined...I had 2 girls close to tears telling me they couldn't find their note in their lunchbox.) The note has to go in the little pocket in the front of their lunchbox otherwise the cold water will mess up the paper. A little sticker goes on the note....and they enjoy having that as a surprise too.
Have I created demanding little monsters? I don't think so. I've been packing their lunches since they were babies and I have learned along the way the things they like and the things they don't. If a little attention to detail makes them enjoy their lunch more why wouldn't I do it?
You might be thinking I have gone off on some crazy tangent (which I'm fully capable of), but I assure you I have not. The gift I got this morning was the gift of perspective and appreciation. When you are a stay at home mom the right perspective and appreciation for the tasks set before you can change your day....heck....it can change your year.
I'll be the first one to admit that I do not always appreciate being a stay at home mom. I have a bad habit of looking at all the things I DON'T accomplish in the course of a day and tend to look at myself as a failure. WHY oh WHY can't I keep up with the laundry??? I just did the dishes...how can the sink be full again???? This morning I realized that all the little things that I am able to accomplish in the day do matter. Cutting a bagel into little pieces to accommodate a loose tooth seems really small....but it's not a small thing to a 5 year old that opens her lunch and sees that mommy was looking out for her. I'm able say "I love you" to my little girls in 30 different ways without saying a word.
I don't know exactly what God has for me in the future....but today as I sit here typing I'm sitting up straight with my shoulders back and my head held high. Today I am enjoying a new perspective on what I do and I have a renewed appreciation for it. Today I'm exceedingly thankful for how intimately I know my little girls. I am extremely fortunate to spend the time with them that I do and knowing the little intricacies of their personalities is a gift that I will cherish.
Happy Birthday to me.
Wednesday, October 8, 2014
Calling It Like It Is
I was listening to the radio the other day and was struck by the wording in one of the commercials. It was talking about being "credit challenged". It didn't talk about having "bad credit", but rather "credit challenged". For years and years I had stellar credit. I paid my bills on time, paid ahead on my mortgage when I could and reaped the benefits of those decisions on my credit report. Conversely, when the economy took a turn and I lost my business it took a huge toll on our financial world and my steller credit was no more. I have to say though, I was not "credit challenged"....straight up, I then had BAD credit. I wasn't challenged. We were forced to make heartwrenching choices that for credit purposes were BAD. There are a lot of people that have BAD credit. Some are just not responsible enough for credit and let things slide resulting in bad credit. Some people lose jobs or have health issues that result in mountains of medical bills that unfortunately result in bad credit.
The problem here is that we aren't calling things what they are because we are afraid to "offend" with a word. Somehow we are assuming that to call someone's credit score "BAD" we are calling the person bad. Bad credit doesn't automatically equal bad people.
I know full well that not everything is black and white. There isn't always a pretty definition that things neatly fit in, but why are we so paralyzed by fear of offending with truth? The truth can hurt, sometimes the truth doesn't need to be spoken, but there are times that it does need to be spoken and that's when we need to mix truth with wisdom and courage and discernment. It's a good mix.
As Christians we are called to speak the truth. Specifically we are told to speak the truth in LOVE. We aren't to use truth to hurt, but to help. It's our job and there is no room for fear in that.
Sitting here I am thinking about a few examples of truth that I will need to explain to my daughter soon. To be honest, I'm not looking forward to it. Speaking and teaching truth to a 7 year old in a world that rejects God's truths is not easy. I'll be asking for a lot of wisdom and an extra serving of discernment, and of course, a dallop of courage.
Let's not be afraid to call things what they are when it is truth.....let's do it in love.
"Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.
Ephesians 4:14-15
The problem here is that we aren't calling things what they are because we are afraid to "offend" with a word. Somehow we are assuming that to call someone's credit score "BAD" we are calling the person bad. Bad credit doesn't automatically equal bad people.
I know full well that not everything is black and white. There isn't always a pretty definition that things neatly fit in, but why are we so paralyzed by fear of offending with truth? The truth can hurt, sometimes the truth doesn't need to be spoken, but there are times that it does need to be spoken and that's when we need to mix truth with wisdom and courage and discernment. It's a good mix.
As Christians we are called to speak the truth. Specifically we are told to speak the truth in LOVE. We aren't to use truth to hurt, but to help. It's our job and there is no room for fear in that.
Sitting here I am thinking about a few examples of truth that I will need to explain to my daughter soon. To be honest, I'm not looking forward to it. Speaking and teaching truth to a 7 year old in a world that rejects God's truths is not easy. I'll be asking for a lot of wisdom and an extra serving of discernment, and of course, a dallop of courage.
Let's not be afraid to call things what they are when it is truth.....let's do it in love.
"Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.
Ephesians 4:14-15
Sunday, September 21, 2014
Great Expectations
For the past few weeks we have been in the midst of a kitchen addition. Our modest living room has been transformed into a living room, dining room, homework room, kitchen, play room and of course, my favorite...a mud room. Needless to say, even I am ready for a kitchen again and I'm actually looking forward to cooking in it. This past week the cabinets arrived and were installed and the empty room is starting to look like a real kitchen. Being spatially challenged, I hired a designer to help out with the kitchen layout to help ensure that we were using the additional space wisely. She drew out several options for us to look over and we were very excited about the layout we selected.
Once the cabinets were in I started to closely examine my new kitchen now that I could truly "feel" how the layout was going to be and I have to say that I was a bit taken aback at how small the kitchen was. Here is the funny thing. I KNEW the size of the addition. I KNEW it wasn't a huge addition because we had limited space to add on (not to mention a limited budget). I looked at the layout and approved of the layout and yet here I was getting frustrated that I was getting what I asked for.
I have to admit that I spent the night and the next morning pretty frustrated at what I "could have had". In retrospect, we could have changed some things around to have a little more room, but in all honesty, it is going to be a beautiful little kitchen that will be significantly better that what we had before and we DO have a lot more space where we need it the most.
I got thinking about those funny things we call expectations. In marriage we hear quite a bit about "unmet expectations", and I decided that I really don't like that term at all. Having an expectation unmet somehow sounds like the burden is on someone else to fullfill some need that I drum up in my head. I decided that a better term is "un-managed expectations". We all have expectations of our relationships whether they are in marriage, our friendships or even our work relationships. It's our responsibility to express those expectations, and it is most definitely our responsibility to manage our expectations and ensure that they are realistic.
I wonder how many marriages have dissolved because of "un-managed expectations"? How many marriages have ended because someone got exactly what they signed up for? Isn't it funny that we ask for something and we get it, and somehow we still find ourselves wanting more?
I'm looking at my new adorable little kitchen and I have to say that I have deliberately "managed" my expectations and I love it. Now that I'm done whining over what it isn't I can enjoy all the things it is. I live in a small house and it's not a gourmet kitchen and I can't expect it to be something that it can't be. The same goes for people. What if we just love them where they are for what they are and for who they are? This is an expectation that truly has the potential to be great.
Once the cabinets were in I started to closely examine my new kitchen now that I could truly "feel" how the layout was going to be and I have to say that I was a bit taken aback at how small the kitchen was. Here is the funny thing. I KNEW the size of the addition. I KNEW it wasn't a huge addition because we had limited space to add on (not to mention a limited budget). I looked at the layout and approved of the layout and yet here I was getting frustrated that I was getting what I asked for.
I have to admit that I spent the night and the next morning pretty frustrated at what I "could have had". In retrospect, we could have changed some things around to have a little more room, but in all honesty, it is going to be a beautiful little kitchen that will be significantly better that what we had before and we DO have a lot more space where we need it the most.
I got thinking about those funny things we call expectations. In marriage we hear quite a bit about "unmet expectations", and I decided that I really don't like that term at all. Having an expectation unmet somehow sounds like the burden is on someone else to fullfill some need that I drum up in my head. I decided that a better term is "un-managed expectations". We all have expectations of our relationships whether they are in marriage, our friendships or even our work relationships. It's our responsibility to express those expectations, and it is most definitely our responsibility to manage our expectations and ensure that they are realistic.
I wonder how many marriages have dissolved because of "un-managed expectations"? How many marriages have ended because someone got exactly what they signed up for? Isn't it funny that we ask for something and we get it, and somehow we still find ourselves wanting more?
I'm looking at my new adorable little kitchen and I have to say that I have deliberately "managed" my expectations and I love it. Now that I'm done whining over what it isn't I can enjoy all the things it is. I live in a small house and it's not a gourmet kitchen and I can't expect it to be something that it can't be. The same goes for people. What if we just love them where they are for what they are and for who they are? This is an expectation that truly has the potential to be great.
Tuesday, August 19, 2014
Father Knows Best
We all know probably all to well how a little passing of time and/or a little reflection can completely change our perspective of something. I've questioned God on several occasions perplexed by His plan, especially when it was so vastly different from my own. Though there are still some things I wonder about, most of the time once the dust settles I can see clearly why God told me no, or not now.
For years I ran a little appraisal company. I was blessed with a successful business for several years. Most of the time that I had my business I was single and was able to devote most (sometimes all) of my energy to it. The mortgage industry is often "feast or famine", so you learn to work hard when the work is there. In 2008 the market slowed down significantly, and so did my work. Many of my faithful clients had to find other work because they weren't getting any business either. My little girls were born in 2007 and 2009, so the dwindling work was alright since it would have required a lot of juggling.
For some unknown reason, running an appraisal business wasn't that hard. It required a great deal from me, but I knew what needed to be done and I did it. To be honest, running that business was CAKE compared to taking care of two little girls, attempting to keep a house clean, doing laundry, grocery shopping, making meals, feeding cats, making Dr. appointments, dropping off, picking up, and the other 500 things that creep up in the course of a week.
This morning I had a whole new appreciation for my failed business. I could feel myself getting frustrated that it was taking 25 minutes for my girls to take 3 morsels of breakfast. All I could think of is that getting my girls together and out the door for school was going to be the hardest part of my day (hopefully). I didn't have to rush out with them to a job and come back home exhausted only to resume the daily requirements of running a house and caring for children.
God knew that I could not run a business and be the mom I need to be. God knew that if I had too much on my plate I would struggle to prioritize and the wrong things would suffer. God knew that if the decision was left to me I would TRY to do it all...so He took the option off the table for me. God also gave me a hard working husband who encourages me to stay home and is willing to go without things in order for that to be our reality.
I still struggle to keep up with things in spite of being home, but I am working at it every day and eagerly await the day when it will all come together! (if there is no such day please don't burst my bubble)
This is in no way intended to shine any form of negativity on working moms. ALL moms are amazing regardless of whether they work inside or outside of the home. My point is simply that God knows us so intimately that he knows our limitations better than we do. He knows when to push us past what we think we can do, and He knows when to have us rest in what is before us.
Right now I rest in what is before me. (Which is a mountain of laundry...so it's a good time to sign off.)
I pray this brings a nugget of encouragement to someone who may need it.
For years I ran a little appraisal company. I was blessed with a successful business for several years. Most of the time that I had my business I was single and was able to devote most (sometimes all) of my energy to it. The mortgage industry is often "feast or famine", so you learn to work hard when the work is there. In 2008 the market slowed down significantly, and so did my work. Many of my faithful clients had to find other work because they weren't getting any business either. My little girls were born in 2007 and 2009, so the dwindling work was alright since it would have required a lot of juggling.
For some unknown reason, running an appraisal business wasn't that hard. It required a great deal from me, but I knew what needed to be done and I did it. To be honest, running that business was CAKE compared to taking care of two little girls, attempting to keep a house clean, doing laundry, grocery shopping, making meals, feeding cats, making Dr. appointments, dropping off, picking up, and the other 500 things that creep up in the course of a week.
This morning I had a whole new appreciation for my failed business. I could feel myself getting frustrated that it was taking 25 minutes for my girls to take 3 morsels of breakfast. All I could think of is that getting my girls together and out the door for school was going to be the hardest part of my day (hopefully). I didn't have to rush out with them to a job and come back home exhausted only to resume the daily requirements of running a house and caring for children.
God knew that I could not run a business and be the mom I need to be. God knew that if I had too much on my plate I would struggle to prioritize and the wrong things would suffer. God knew that if the decision was left to me I would TRY to do it all...so He took the option off the table for me. God also gave me a hard working husband who encourages me to stay home and is willing to go without things in order for that to be our reality.
I still struggle to keep up with things in spite of being home, but I am working at it every day and eagerly await the day when it will all come together! (if there is no such day please don't burst my bubble)
This is in no way intended to shine any form of negativity on working moms. ALL moms are amazing regardless of whether they work inside or outside of the home. My point is simply that God knows us so intimately that he knows our limitations better than we do. He knows when to push us past what we think we can do, and He knows when to have us rest in what is before us.
Right now I rest in what is before me. (Which is a mountain of laundry...so it's a good time to sign off.)
I pray this brings a nugget of encouragement to someone who may need it.
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