Seasons

Seasons.  I love them all with the humid heat of summer being my least favorite.  We're in the midst of my very favorite season.  I can't get enough of a cool autumn day with the different colored leaves falling gently to my feet.  I love walking through the leaves and hearing the crunch while breathing the unmistakable fresh fall air.  It's simply glorious.  I admittedly get a little sad when all the leaves are off the trees.  They looks so barren and lifeless, but that changes as soon as they are blanketed with a fresh coating of white snow.  I love the snow.  I don't so much enjoy the goofs that occupy this area of Virginia that seriously do not know how to drive on a road with a snowflake on it, but nevertheless, I LOVE the snow.  It's the upstate NY girl that will never leave me.  Then of course you have the welcomed warmth that gives us the green grass and blooming flowers, the budding trees and the returning robins.  There's no doubt about it, Northern Virginia offers a breathtaking spring year after year.  Of course then there is the summer with 95% humidity and the return of my whining for no less than three months straight.  


I said more that I thought I would about those seasons.  I'm not here to write about the weather.  What is on my mind is the seasons of life.  Whether we ask for them or not they come to us just like the changes in the weather.  Unlike the weather, we have a choice in how we respond to the seasons we find ourselves in.  Some are so welcome and bring so much joy, but somehow there ends up being conflict and challenges thrown in there out of nowhere. I was single for what seemed forever.  When I got married it was a joyful time, but thrown in there was more struggles and conflict than i even could have imagined.  It was a season.  We are now in year 6 of our marriage.  Are we still in "seasons"?  You  betcha.  Just when we think we have one licked another one pops up.  I have a feeling we are not alone in that.  Contrary to popular belief, I'm getting the feeling that marriage wasn't intended to be easy.  We are put together to make each other better.  Better for each other, better for our peers and most of all better for God.  That refining takes work.  


That's still not the season that is really on my mind.  I am 42 years old and am beginning a brand new season.  I'd like to say it is easy, but though I find it extremely exciting, I kind of feel like a freshly born fawn that is trying to take steps on some legs that are pretty wobbly.  I was an appraiser for over 12 years with a successful business.  I was confident in that.  I knew that I was able to do a good job.  I knew what I was doing.  God called me to give that up, and I did.  With all of my heart I feel God's calling me for more.  For years and years I embraced the lie that I was not useful for God because of my mistakes.  This kept me stagnant.  I would get involved in church, but when I felt that more was going to be expected of me I would back off out of fear that I would let the church and God down with my unfaithfulness.  I'd find a way to mess it up, so I'd just fade away.  God has grabbed a hold of me.  I don't know what he has for me to do, but I so clearly hear His voice and perhaps for the first time in my 42 to years I am running to Him and not away  from Him.  I will do what he asks of me.  I am taking a class in Bible Counseling.  It examines the heart and it is intense.  I don't know what God wants me to do with this class, but I know I'm meant to be in it.  I can't say that I know exactly where I am going, but I'm following His voice and that is enough for me.  I am at peace in that.  


There is a new movie out called "Courageous".  Brian and I saw it last night and my eyes are still puffy from crying through half of the movie.  (no joke)  There is a book call Resolutions for Men and Resolutions for Women.  Our church is doing a Bible study for both the Men and the Women.  Brian joined the men's group and I thought about joining the women's group...but with all the reading and homework from my class I thought it was a bit much to take on.  Well, Brian really wanted me to take the class.  I was shocked as he never asks me to do things like that and he knows how much reading I already have to do with my class.  He bought me the book, so how could I say no?  I read the first weeks reading assignment.  I never got past the first page of the forward.  Here is what the forward says, "What if we let go of the baggage of our past, clarified our convictions, and then pursued faithfulness to God, our marriages, and children for the rest of our lives?"   The next paragraph said "God is calling all women to a new season".   The next paragraph said "This resolution for Women with both stir and challenge you.  it will speak to the best part of who you are.  It will remind you of your priceless value and the wonderful, God-honoring reason why you were created."


Are you kidding me???  Do you have any idea how long I have searched for my God-honoring reason why I was created?  Go back and read the part that is in bold print, will you please?  Take it in.  It's powerful.  I have no idea what God has planned for me next and I'm still feeling like that little fawn that is trying out it's new legs, but soon enough I'm going to bound and leap.  I have every intention of courageously discovering my divine purpose in my new season.  I challenge you do do the same.