By George, I think I've got it!!!

     My last post was regarding my concerns about my daughter going to kindergarten in a public school.  Not knowing much about the public school system and always assuming that we would be able to send our girls to a Christian School cause a great amount of angst in me to say the least.  So many waves of thought went through my mind at warp speed and I struggled with figuring out what exactly was at the heart of my hesitation. 

     I'm still not exactly sure if it's any one thing.  There are so many things to consider when deciding on any educational choice whether it's preschool or grad school.  There are pros and cons to any form of education and I strongly believe that there are many choices out there because everyone learns in their own way.  I guess it's our job as parents to do our best to figure out what style of learning enables our little ones to truly soar. 

     Anyway....after MUCH thought and deliberation and tears and prayer I realized that a large part of my hesitation in sending Haylee to a public school was a result of my experience in a public high school.  I didn't have a horrible experience, but I felt invisible.  I didn't feel like my teachers knew me and I certainly didn't feel like the majority of the students knew I existed.  Whether or not any of this is true, it's what I believed to be true as a fragile adolescent.  My biggest fear is Haylee experiencing any of those feelings. 

    After we attended the "meet the teacher" night I was even more concerned.  She is in a classroom with 24 kids with one teacher and one assistant.  All I could think of is "how in the world can one teacher be effective in teaching all these children?"  I couldn't get the thought out of my mind.  I pictured Haylee being excited over the completion of an assignment and trying to show her teacher who is too busy with the other 18 children to notice her accomplishment.  I pictured her little spirit being crushed bit by tiny bit.   This is all of course in my head and who knows if anything like that would happen.  I'm sure these teachers do their best to encourage all of the children the best they can.  Of course, my "picture" didn't stop there.  My mind is way too good at travel to stop there!  I got thinking about all the things I know to be so amazing about my daughter.  I wondered if the teacher would ever get the opportunity to notice some of these little nuances that make her so unique.   How sensitive she is if someone is hurt.  If a friend hurts, so does she.  Will the teacher spend enough time with her to notice her sense of humor?  Will she understand how easily her heart is hurt?  Will she be able to take the extra little moments necessary to build her little spirit?  All these questions and many others had me in intermittent tears all day Saturday. 

Then it hit me.

     Hilary Clinton, I'm sorry, but I respectfully disagree with you.  It does NOT take a village to raise a child.  It takes parents.  One mother and one father.  It is OUR job to encourage her and build her spirit.  It is our job to do our best to build confidence in her.  It's our job to teach her right from wrong and the importance of morals and values.  We are the ones that are supposed to know her little personality inside out.  Brian and I are to teach her about the Lord and what it means to love God and live for Him.  Don't get me wrong, of course our teachers come along side us and help us and teach what their job asks them to teach.  I'm sure as the days and weeks to by I will be incredibly thankful for what her new teacher is doing for her everyday. 

     An enormous peace came over me when the realization hit me that sending her away to school didn't mean that I was turning the responsibility of her learning to someone else.  Brian and I are and will always be her primary teachers.  No matter where we decided to send her for her education, we would still be her primary teachers.  Our job will now change and our responsibility is greater.  We need to be aware of what she is being taught and if it doesn't line up with what we believe to be true then we will explain things to her as necessary.  I know that there will be challenges along the way and this will not be easy.  I'm also sure there will be more tears shed.  I also know that tears aren't really a bad thing....I cry because I love her so much and want to do this whole parenting thing right.  I cry because I care and it matters to me, so you'll never see me apologizing for my tears. 

     So, I worried about her being invisible, but I now see that it's impossible for that to ever be.  That little girl knows full well how loved she is.  She talks all the time about how Jesus lives in her heart.  Invisible?  Not a chance.