Depression 202- A few more thoughts

A few days ago I wrote a post about depression and how I was dealing with a bout of it.  I have to be honest and say that I really did not intend to write about something so personal on such a public forum.  I sat down to write because it had been a while and I almost instantly felt like God was whispering in my ear that I needed to share my struggle.  I said OK and began to write.  I was a little uneasy with it for a nanosecond, but as I started to write I knew that I was doing what God was asking me to do and any reservations I had were swept away.  


I was overwhelmed by the responses that I got from the post.  I certainly do not say that to be boastful in anyway whatsoever, it is simply confirmation that God had a purpose for me sharing my pain.  So many people struggle with depression and the sad thing is that even with all the progress we've made in regards to depression we still tend to feel shameful if we do struggle with it and for some reason we often quickly equate it with failure.  


My first experience with depression was back in 1997.  I was 27 years old and I had a very close relationship with my father.  He went into the hospital for knee replacement surgery and soon after the procedure had a blood clot go to his brain and he passed away 2 days later.  My world was never the same.  I seemed to keep it together for about 6 months and then it was like the rug of life was ripped out from underneath me and I sank deeper and deeper into a pit of despair.  I was young and was sure I would snap out of it at any time, so I didn't seek any help.   Nothing seemed to bring joy, I was void of emotion.  I could sleep for 24 hours straight and often did.  I then became more and more anxious and was unable to go into public places without having panic attacks.  I couldn't be in the middle of a room because people surrounding me terrified me.   I went to the grocery store at 1 am to avoid people and going to church wasn't even an option.  Thankfully I had a friend who also suffered from depression and he finally convinced me that I needed help.  I went to the doctor and was put on an anti-depressant and began seeing a counselor.  I wasn't better instantly, but after a while I was able to smile.  I found joy.  I found life. I was finally able to go about life as I was before.  Things were different, but I was able to engage in each day as God intends us to.  Thankfully after about a year I was able to say good-bye to the medication.


I give that history for this reason.  A few years after all of that I was attending a church and started a class called "self-confrontation".  I didn't get very far in the class.  The very first night the instructor went on a tangent about depression and was declaring that depression was nothing but a lack of faith in God and that medications taken for depression were completely uncalled for and unnecessary.  Needless to say I didn't go back to the class.  I was sad for the ignorance of the instructor and very thankful that I was secure enough in my faith to know that what he was saying was a crock of nonsense.  Are depression medications misused and over-prescribed?   I'm sure they are.  Do some people use the medications as a band-aid and refuse to get any other help?  I'm sure there are.  I have to say, however, that I am extremely thankful for medication that helped me get through a very difficult time.  I also know for a fact that there are people with chemical imbalances that are absolutely helped by medications.


Having suffered through depression, my heart bleeds for others in the struggle.  As I type this my eyes are tearing up just thinking about the incredible women who responded to my previous post that are struggling right now and are probably longing for comfort and maybe don't have the strength to ask, or perhaps they just don't know how to ask for what they need or don't even know what they need.   Sounds crazy doesn't it?  Welcome to the world of depression.  


You know....depression certainly is not new.  Ever read through the book of Psalms?  Here are just a few people in the Bible that suffered through times of depression:  Abraham (Genesis 15), Jonah, (Jonah 4), Job (entire book of Job), Elijah (1 Kings 19), Jeremiah (entire book of Jeremiah), and perhaps the most well known, David (numerous Psalms) .  If you read the circumstances surrounding these characters you'll see that in some cases you can understand the resulting depression, other times it is a mystery.  Proverbs 18:14 asks "who can bear a broken spirit?  I'll tell you that we can't.  We aren't meant to.  Ever wonder why there are so many names given to our great Savior?  He is called the Good Shepherd because he cares for us and watches over us and does not slumber.  He is called the Great Physician because He can heal us when we are broken, and that includes a broken spirit.  He is called the Prince of Peace because there are times when that is what we need the most.  Peace.  


My friends.  We will get through these times.  Pray for me and I will pray for you.  Let each of remember that we are held and He will never let go.