Depression 101

I am in no way, shape or form a medical expert on anything, however, having been through a bought or two of depression I feel I can lend of few words of comfort to my fellow friends who struggle with it, and perhaps a word or two of wisdom to those who stand by loved ones who are struggling.  Those of you who have been reading my blog have probably noticed that I haven't written anything in a while.  Big surprise, I've been struggling with a bit of depression.  It's not fun.  On top of feeling like I'm living life underwater gasping for a breath just to be sucked down by another wave, there is the overwhelming feeling of guilt for all that I'm not being to the ones I love.  By the end of the week I'm so completely exhausted from faking it I just want to sleep for 3 days straight, and believe me, I could.  Everyone deals with the struggle differently, for me there is nothing more blessed than sleep because the pain is gone and the brain turns off.  There is peace.  


I would like to consider myself a somewhat intelligent woman.  That being the case (at least I  hope), being depressed is especially frustrating.  It doesn't make sense, it really doesn't.  I have a body that is healthy, it's not perfect, but it's healthy, I have a husband that loves me and works very hard to provide for our family, I have two beautiful healthy little girls, a stepson that I genuinely adore,  I have a house that I love and am surrounded by good friends and a loving family.  WHY in the world would I be depressed?   Trust me, I want to punch myself in the face just thinking about it!  I hate that I don't have the energy to care for my house the way I should, that I want to cry at the smallest incident, that I'm not being the interactive mommy that I should and that I'm not being the wife that I should be to my husband.  It's incredibly frustrating that I am even unable to reach out to God as I should for the help that He longs to give me.  I feel as if I'm frozen.    All I can say to God is that I'm stuck.  Thankfully He already knows that.  I feel like I'm in a pit...and although I feel alone, I know that I am most certainly not alone.  I know that I'm being held.  He is not going to shake me telling me to snap out of it...He's going to hold me and love me until I'm ready to stand and then He's going to take me by the hand and help me up and walk me to where I need to be.  He will refresh me.  


Until that time...here are some things NEVER to say to someone in a struggle with depression.  Think these things all you want, but please never let the words pass through your lips.
1.  You need to pray harder.
2.  Snap out of it.
3.  Just get over it.
4.  What do you have to be depressed about?
5.  That's nothing to be depressed about.
Sadly...I have been told or asked all of these things, and I imagine other that have struggled have heard the same things or similar things.  I know how frustrating it is to deal with someone in depression, but words really aren't going to help someone up.  Actions might.  There are no magic words that will heal someone in the struggle.  It's so tempting to try words though, isn't it?  Please just bear with us and know that the fight is on.


So...on a side note.  In addition to neglecting my family, I have lately neglected my little birds outside too.  I ran out of seeds and just haven't refilled their feeders.  It has been at least a week since I fed them and as I was refilling the feeders today there was not a bird in sight.  I was sad and wondered how long it would take for them to come back.   Thankfully, I didn't have to wait long.  Before long I heard some really loud calls that I swear sounded a lot like "come and get it" in bird talk.  I now sit here watching my brood of chirpities.  They are not angry with me, they are just glad that I'm back.


I can only hope my friends have the same response.  I haven't been a very good friend.  I haven't been filling up my friend-feeders either with loving calls and texts and visits.  I pray that they understand and are just happy to see me when I'm ready to resurface.