Start Over Mama!!!

Friday night we packed up the entire family and gathered in our trusty van and headed to Smith Mountain Lake for a Saturday of boating and fishing fun on the lake.  With shoulder surgery coming up on Friday we thought it would be nice to have a little outing before I'm pretty limited for most likely at least a few weeks.  

Saturday morning we were getting up and at'um and I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth.  Brian sent the girls in behind me to brush their teeth as well.  I had been brushing my teeth for a few seconds when Kerrington looks up at me with her toothbrush in hand and yells "Start over Mama!!!  I want to follow you!"  I started over.  I put the toothpaste on my toothbrush, I put the toothpaste on her brush and we started brushing together.  Kerrington's eyes were completely fixed on me and she was intent on following my every move as exact at possible.  If I brushed my front teeth, she brushed her front teeth. When I brushed my back teeth, she brushed her back teeth.  She was following my every move and if I would have started brushing my ear with the toothbrush I'm pretty sure she would have brushed her ear too.  I don't know the last time I brushed my teeth so carefully.  I had to!!!  I was brushing for two!  

Those few little words echoed in my mind for so much of the day.  "Start over Mama!  I want to follow you."  As parents we know that are children are watching us, but do we really stop and think about just how intently they are watching us?  We don't usually get the verbal heads up like I got when brushing my teeth.  I realized that though I don't get the verbal warning very often....my girls are watching and following.  They watch and follow the good...and unfortunately they are watching and possibly following the bad too.  I couldn't help but look back at all the times that I truly wish I could have "started over" knowing that I had little eyes watching and learning from me.  

It was a sober wake up all.  Of course we are going to make mistakes as parents.  We are learning along the way just like our little ones are.  The fact is that the stakes are a little higher for us.  (deliberate understatement)  They aren't just watching the way we brush our teeth.  They are listening to how we treat our spouse, how we talk to the waiter or waitress that has forgotten to fill up our coffee cup 23 times.  They are watching how we react when when we spill a bag of sugar on the floor, they are watching how we react when THEY spill a bag of sugar on the floor.  It goes on and on.  When I do get it all wrong I have learned learned that a child is never too young to apologize to.  Not much more than a week ago I was short with Kerrington as we were rushing to get to preschool on time.  I hurt her feelings and I had to tell her I was sorry and ask her for forgiveness. I told her that I was wrong to snap at her and I hugged her tight and I'm pretty sure I had to wipe a few tears from my eyes too.   I didn't get to start that morning over, but I can tell you that the next morning went differently.  Sometimes that's the best we can hope for.  I can pray that the next time Kerrington hurts someone she can remember how Mama reacted and follow that.