Wounds....oh, and preschool

Today was Haylee's first day of preschool.  I sent a picture of her on her way out the door to Brian and he asked me if I was sad.  I told him that it's hard to be sad when she is so excited and so happy about something new.  I won't be surprised if it hits me...but to be honest, things have been hitting me since she was born.  It hit me when she moved up to a bigger size, it hit me when she smiled the first time, it hit me when she sat up, it hit me when she giggled, it hit me when she started to crawl, then walk, then talk....you get my point.  I think I've done as good a job as I could have at savoring the moments as they were and are happening.  It's going by faster than I wish it was....but I'm not missing the moments and I have no regrets. 

I had to say a few words about preschool....Brian thought my blog would be all about preschool today, however, it's not what is swirling around my little brain this morning.  A few days ago both of the girls started to get these little sores.  I thought they were mosquito bites that they were picking at.  Both of the girls find open wounds more entertaining than a trip to Toys R US.  (That must come from Brian)  These sores weren't getting better, but they were getting bigger.  By Monday both girls had sores big enough that I knew a trip to Urgent Care was in our near future.  Somehow they got a staph infection and they were put on antibiotics.  Kerrington has a good size sore right on her tummy and I've been keeping in covered because she picks at it.  Last night in the middle of the night she meanders up to our bed and she is soon screaming in pain.  She scratched off her bandage and had obviously been itching it and made it much worse.  I gave her some advil and a big bandage to cover it and pleaded with her (as much as one can plead with a 2 year old at 5 am) to leave it alone.  She finally fell back to sleep and I sat there staring at my beautiful little one who doesn't see what I see.  All she knows is that her boo boo itches as it's healing and if she itches it it feels better for a second.  As her mommy I know that itching it is going to tear it open and the healing has to start all over and she's going to be in even more pain.  What is more heartwrenching for a parent than seeing your child hurt? 

Here's where this takes me.

Where I'm going is obvious I'm sure.  We are God's children and he loves us more dearly than we can ever imagine.  I'm sure it grieves him greatly when we pick at our wounds prohibiting our healing.  Don't we do it all the time just like my girls?  We make mistakes in our marriages that cause great wounds and then instead of working toward healing it starts to itch and we dig again because it offers some temporary relief.  Oh, it's not just our marriages.  Personally I do it with food too!  Nothing spells relief like a pint of Ben & Jerry's.....but the satisfaction certainly doesn't translate on the scale the next morning.  That may seem like a trivial example, but it's what came to mind.  It's just that we all tend to get in the way of our own healing sometimes and just like I shake my head at my little ones I'm sure God sometimes shakes he head at us.  He wants to see us whole for a host of reasons.  It brings Him glory, it brings us happiness, it makes our lives full, it enables us to be useful to others and it enables us to make the most of the life we've been given. 

It doesn't matter how old we are, to God we are still His children and he cherishes us at 40 or 60 or 20 the same way we cherish our little newborns.  He never stops looking at us with that fresh love and never stops wanting all the best things for us.  Now, if we could just stay out of our own way and let the healing begin.